The Four Bagger

Now, I know it has been what some call eons since my last post, so like most people who fail to blog on a constant basis, I apologize! Now that we have that awkward, unnecessary apology out of the way, we can get on with the story.

This is a story about how I obtained the nickname Four Bagger and it ended with what I would call an exciting display of emotion. Now I'll Tarantino it and tell you how we arrived at this end.

Last Thursday, my friend Leif Dixon was in town. I got a call from my bro-nameth, Mike, telling me we were all going bowling. Because Emi was preoccupied with school tasks, I headed out alone.

Upon arriving at Olympus Bowl, I paid for two games and tried on my shoes. They fit perfectly - as perfectly as rental shoes can. I felt good. I got the first spare of the night. But slowly, things ceased to look good for me. My first game was far from bragable. In fact, my sister-in-law and I tied for last.

The second game was off to a slow start as well. I went three frames with getting robbed by only dropping nine pins. I finally decided it would probably be good to score some strikes because you get more points. So in the fourth frame of the second game I got my first strike of the game. Fifth frame, another strike.

Now, as a side note, I've never in my life bowled a turkey. I've bowled two strikes on multiple occasions, but never three. As I stood up there on the sixth frame I knew I was going to change history, hell, change the world!

I stood, grabbed the nine pound ball and I bowled a turkey! Next frame, I decided to "take it to the edge... and past it!" I made up my mind to get more strikes in a row than ever known to man! Four!

I did it! The screen flashed "Four Bagger" and I knew I had reached the second happiest day of my life. At that moment, I knew world peace had occurred and all mankind was celebrating in my momentous occasion. Through the entire game, I only missed 5 pins! I think the Guinness Book of World Records is updating their books for best job bowling... EVER.

As a side note, the red ball that did this is featured in the picture above. Credit goes to mike for finding it. If you go to Olympus Bowl, find it. I promise if you can harness it's power, you could make world records of your own as well.

Economic Crisis: Where to invest

I've emptied my 401k and gone the AR route.

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Mesa Verde

Emi and I recently had the opportunity to go to Mesa Verde National Park and let me tell you, good times were had by all! The temperature was a little colder than expected, but I preferred that over hiking deep canyons in scorching heat.

It’s pretty impressive to see all the structures these people built long ago with only stone axes. Some of the buildings were incredibly detailed, large and hard to get to, but some how these people managed to build them.

Another mind fudging detail is that there are over 600 cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde and 4,000 ruins. We merely saw a total of 6 or 7.

Also, I realize this is the first post in ages. Life has been kind of busy, but i'm hoping to get more time to blog our summer activities in the near future.

Long House

Cliff Palace

Art at the MoMA

During our trip to New York City, Emi and I had the chance to stop at the MoMA. Among the artistic creations we observed, here are a few of our favorites.

Yep.

Emi's favorite. By Pablo Picasso

My favorite. Also by Picasso

NYC Construction

St. Patrick's Cathedral


LDS Temple


Building in SoHo

What do a rat, a shoping cart, a gun and the Avenue of the Strongest Worth have in common?

Answer: They are all things we saw in New York City!


This gun picture was taken at the MoMA, and was an artistic interpretation of the comma or something.



I'm not sure what's going on here, but I like it.



Everybody's gotta watch out for those thieves!



One of our major goals for the trip was to see a New York City Rat. We accomplished this on our last day in the subway and as an added bonus, it had mange!

30 Rock

Foodstuffs; a NYC mind-fudge

One of my favorite things about visiting NYC was the delicious foodstuffs. Everywhere you turn the streets were inundated with people selling all kinds of delights. Sometimes you'd be walking down the street and you'd smell something unprecedented. Because so many smells were mixing together, you weren't sure if it was a good smell or an evil smell. It was like so many smells - some good, some bad - converged to create a super-smell that somehow broke your smelling system. Anyway...

All of you know there is a hot dog stand on every corner, but did you know each of these hot dog stands is also home to a magical pretzel cooker? Well they are! For only two U.S. American dollars, you can get yourself a saltily delicious pretzel!

If that doesn't suit your fancy, you can always go to Magnolia's Bakery. This little ditty is home to some of the best pastries in New York City. Above you can see two of the company's creations. The one on the left is a Macadamia Nut Cheesecake and the one on the right is a Pumpkin Cheesecake. Both selections delighted our pallets.

If you are feeling slightly exceedingly more carnivorous, feel free to stop by the famous Carnegie Deli. While we didn't see Aurthur Fonzarelli or Bowser from Sha Na Na there, we did see pleanty of meat-filled sandwiches, like the above Woddy Harrelson, which was filled with 8 inches of corned beef and pastrami.

Where else could you find so many foods melted into one condensed location? New York City, my friend, New York City. So if yuo are looking for some good eats, you know where to go.

The Big Easy Way

This past weekend, Emi and I had the opportunity to go to New York, New York. Let me just say, We had a blast!

I'm going to be featured as a guest blogger at www.dottingthemap.com, so feel free to check there to get some in depth travel posts.

In the meantime, I'm going to be putting up one or two pictures a day and tell the story of how the Sorensen's owned the Big Easy!

Top o' the Morning to Ye!!!

As many of you know, today is a pretty special day. For those of you who are simply spying on me via WWW, prior to being declared St. Patrick’s Day, March 17^th was foredestined to become an even more of an important day; my birthday! Turning 26 has been pretty awesome so far; I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at in life and what the world has in store for me. As Gwen Stefani would say, “I’m feelin’ hella good.”

Last year was good, but it definitely had its ups and downs. Last night I had a pretty crazy dream which signifies, what I call a time of my life filled with awesomeness and good times.

In this dream, I was riding my bike* along and suddenly I noticed in the trees that there were snakes all around. Being an appreciator for all things slithering, I immediately stopped picked up a medium sized slithering beast. I’m no ophiologist, but I think it was a python.

Anyway, so I pick up said snake and begin to ride my bicycle. As I’m riding along, the snake freaking bites me in the face, but nothing happened (other than the fact that a freaking snake tried to kill me). I then proceeded to squeeze the snake. This quickly proved to be a not-so-good idea because then it bit my hand and I couldn’t get it off. I tried everything and eventually pried its jaws open and threw it on the ground. It began to race quickly away from me (probably because it recognized I had commandeered a shovel from somewhere). As it’s making its escape it slithered right into the belly of a much larger snake (anaconda?) which seemed to be much friendlier towards me. I thanked the snake for assisting me claim victory over snake “A” and after that I woke up.To help you fathom what it was really like I attempted to recreate the series of events.

What does this mean? I think the first snake signifies my 25^th year of life on this earth and the second snake represents the upcoming year. The eating of the 25^th year symbolizes the 26^th’s year of superiority in all things awesome. So, you ask, what does this all mean? Well, this year is going to be a good one!

Of course this could be a combination of the following:

• Listening to too much Aquabats, namely Attacked by Snakes
• Looking on KSL and Craigslist for bikes (*If you have one you are looking to sell, let me know)
• Killing snakes in Resident Evil 5

Comics?

Last weekend, Emi and I went and saw Watchmen. I was hoping to have read the book prior to seeing the movie, but alas, I did not. I liked the movie a lot, especially the first 20 minutes and the part about Rorschach's history. Now, upon discussing the cinematic successes of Watchmen, some may argue it was not as good as the comic book graphic novel. I have since started reading Watchmen and let me tell you this: it's pretty awesome. The characters are more developed and because I'm a little slow I can go back and read the parts I didn't understand. Hindsight has also made me feel happy I saw the movie first. So was the book better than the movie? Probably. Was the movie pretty awesome? Yeah. Will I see the movie again after finishing the book? Most definitely. Now, the following video compares the awesomeness of Watchman to the awesomeness of X-Men. I'll just let you view the clip for yourself.

Will YOU be prepared for the nuclear apocalypse?

Now, this is a question I’ve always asked myself. I decided, how can I properly train my kids without myself having the proper tools and knowledge?! For this reason I have dedicated 60+ hours to playing just Fallout 3, another 25+ to playing Left for Dead and even more hours to playing various other games where I:

• Kill zombies
• Roam a barren wasteland
• Hack radioactive cows to pieces with a flaming sword or my bare fists
• Craft explosive devices and traps for both fun and protection
• Slaughter masses with nuclear weaponry
• Chainsaw evilness in half… WITHOUT HESITATION!
• Strategically use teamwork to fight hordes of radioactive infected

I feel ready and for that reason my kids will be ready. Now I’ll let you hear what the experts have to say.


Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Good Eats - A Serious Case of VD

As any friend of mine knows, I enjoy Good Eats. This Valentimes Day, or VD for you abbreviaters, weekend was especially filled with good eats. Below you will see some of the delicatessen on which we dined over the few days we had off.

I, being a great husband, purchased my wife cupcakes from Mini’s Cupcakes on 8^th South. Let me just say the taste as good as they look. I think they contain angel tears and rapture juice.

My lovely wife made delicious sugar cookies in honor of the weekend.

Because she knew I hate sugar cookies (because they are hard) she made cupcakes as well – also very delicious.

Then we found this creepy girl.

On Valentimes we did a romantic crab boil for us and our neighbors. As you can tell, it gave me a serious case of lobster brow.

Not so delicious

Not pictured: Me eating a 1lb Recees Peanut Butter Cup. Emi’s still paying the price for that one!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

As you all know, George Bush couldn't find the WMD's! Well here they are!


As you can tell, I'm a lead farmer!